Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
