dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
she peed on how many people?
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
