Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
