you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
