Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
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