Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
