that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
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Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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