Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
