I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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