he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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