I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
So squirting runs in the family.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
