You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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