on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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