her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
