I saw his package. It spoke to me.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Randomize
