Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
