I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Randomize
