Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
