took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
