So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Randomize
