Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
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