my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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