i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
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