you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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