i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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