I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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