How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
i out mim tonsoeep
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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