i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
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