If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
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