So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
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