Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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