We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Those nachos came to me in a dream
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
