I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Randomize
