I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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