I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize