Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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