I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
