dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
