Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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