Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
