just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
