Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
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