TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I came so hard my ears popped.
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