update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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