Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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