I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Randomize
