wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Randomize
