My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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