the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
