I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
