I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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