He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
