I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
