Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
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