Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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