I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
