Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
