All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
