I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
