There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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