I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
