I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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