you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Randomize
