After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Randomize
