Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
