literally had 100 drinks last night.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Randomize
